Fifteen Unusual Hospital Visits Experienced by Pastors

Pastors visit church members and others in the hospital. It’s what pastors do. Most patients appreciate the ministry and efforts of these pastors.

But that doesn’t mean the pastors’ visits are uneventful. I turned to social media to learn about some of the unusual visits pastors have experienced. Here are my top fifteen submissions:

1. 1. Amen and Die. One pastor prayed, and the church member died just as he said, “Amen.” That’s not all. This happened with three different members on three separate occasions—right at “Amen.” I’m glad I got his name on social media. He is not coming near me. Do I hear an “Amen”?
   2. Flying Bedpans. There was no further explanation, but it’s worthy of a high ranking.
   3. Nude Runner. Indecent exposure stories were common, but my favorite was the elderly woman who chased the pastor down the hallway. She was completely nude.
   4. Quiet Conversations. A family introduced the pastor to the patient when he arrived. The pastor had a pleasant conversation with the patient until one family member finally revealed that the patient was deceased.
   5. Jailbreak. An elderly patient asked the pastor to lean in so she could speak to him. As he complied, she grabbed his shirt and yelled, “Get me out of here! They are trying to kill me!”
   6. Bad Timing. One pastor learned the hard way that walking into the patient’s room with the doctor can really scare the patient.
   7. Bad Timing 2. Another pastor discovered it’s even worse to walk into the room with the local funeral home director.
   8. Bad Word Choice. A pastor told a patient, “See you on the other side,” right before surgery. He meant after the procedure, but the timing was less than ideal.
   9. Bad Word Choice 2. A pastor walked in while the patient’s daughter and wife were telling the doctor to unplug the patient, saying, “He wouldn’t want to live like this.” The doctor responded, “He will recover just fine, and he can hear you.”
   10. Too Much Company. A pastor’s visit turned awkward when the patient’s two current girlfriends showed up, followed by an ex-girlfriend and an ex-wife.
   11. Missing Starbucks. A heavily sedated patient insisted that the pastor was her barista and became agitated when he didn’t have her latte.
   12. Know When to Fold Them. A pastor closed his eyes to pray for an accident victim. Unknowingly, he grabbed the rail and pushed the button that folded the patient in half.
   13. Emergency Call. A patient called the church office, requesting an immediate visit. When the staff member arrived, it turned out the patient just needed help cutting her hamburger steak.
   14. Only One-Half? The student pastor was sent to visit a church member in the hospital. The family introduced him as a “half pastor.”
   15. Wrong Guest. A pastor began speaking to another guest in the patient’s room. When he asked where she attended church, she gave the name of his own church. Of course, he had never seen her before.

So many great stories! I’ll probably need to do a part two at some point.

In the meantime, let me hear your hospital visit stories!

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